And So It Begins

My expectations for this site are somehow small and immense at the same time. I don't expect much traffic, but I secretly hope there will be. I don't expect it will bring me anything that great, but the feeling of releasing all the thoughts flying around my head about being married and TTC while working a full-time job and going to grad school part-time is the greatest thing in the world.

I decided to write something here just to get it out. I talk to my friends, my husband, my boss and read the blogs of other people who struggle or have struggled to get pregnant and somehow that doesn't seem to help. As much as my husband wants this, there is no way he wants it as badly as I do. He hasn't spent his whole life dreaming of holding his baby in his arms. You know how most girls dream of their wedding day? Not me. I dreamed of being pregnant, giving birth and raising a child. Now that it's time to accomplish all that, I can't...yet. We're still in the "try for a year because we can't do anything for you until then" phase which is certainly the most frustrating phase yet. It's obviously not working. For 10 months it hasn't worked. Maybe we'll have a miracle in the next two.

Aside from that, I love my life. My job is great, pays well and has good benefits. My coworkers and I laugh hysterically all day long. My marriage is profoundly good for me. I am finally loved the way I should be and, thus, am able to love him how I always hoped I'd be able to. Things are easy for us. We can afford most of what we want, we hardly ever disagree, we find each other ridiculously funny and cute, and our families get along perfectly. Now if only we could change that "perfect couple" image into a "perfect family" image.